Word

Talk about a vocabulary crisis… My dad said “word” to me last night. You know what that means? It means I’m going to have to seriously re-think all my favourite slang words. Where do we go from here people, where do we go?

Insomnia

Insomnia: Inability to sleep; sleeplessness.

From the French insomnie, in turn from the Latin insomnis — in-, negation or privation; somnus, sleep — meaning no sleep. Sleepless.

Insomniacs should most definitely avoid the following things: Caffeine in the evening; getting into a serious relationship with someone who snores; getting into or out of a relationship at all; studying philosophy or critical theory late at night; scary movies; and, believe it or not, sleeping in.

If you have an insomniac in your life, be nice to them. Give them a nice warm cup of milk, a pair of high-quality earplugs, and a bottle of Melatonin. They will thank you in about a week.

The Craziest Thing Happened To Me Today

At first I was very angry and a bit shaken, but I soon realized the absurdity of the situation and I laughed. I laughed hard.

I found myself in a difficult situation with a person I go to school with, and that person was being very uncooperative, refusing to deal with the situation as any adult would do. I don’t need the stress or the hassle of trying to work something out with someone who is unwilling, so I decided to drop it. But I am still angry, so I told her to go fuck herself.

Now, those of you who know me know that I am generally a nice person. Some even think I can be a bit of a pushover at times. I don’t make a habit of telling people off, but I think she deserved it. She really screwed me over. And to be entirely clear, I didn’t threaten to track her down and kick her ass or anything, I just told her to go fuck herself.

Well, two hours later I get a threatening email… from her mom! And this is what it said:

“Dear Tara,

This is not a threat. This is a fact. If you ever speak to my daughter again in print or verbally in the abusive manner which I have just witnessed you will never have to worry about what she will say or do. It will be me.

I suggest that you cease any and all correspondence and interaction with my daughter from this day forward.”

Wow — now I know how adults deal with their problems. The next time someone swears at me, I’m going to call in my mommy to defend me.

Inevitabilities

1 – When you get a group of girls together and add alcohol, there will be drama. Why do we do that to ourselves exactly? I always wonder. This may be one of the great mysteries of womanhood. We just love to torture ourselves and each other for no apparent reason.

2 – When guys and girls try to be friends, there will be drama. Can’t we just be friends already??!! Aren’t we grown up enough for this? My best friend in the world is a guy so I always have high hopes for these things working. It seems I may be deluding myself there. The next time one of my guy friends decides I need to be rescued from my ’sad life’ by a knight in shining armour who is not the knight of my choosing, I am giving up on friendship with the entire male race. Well, except you Dave – you rock.

3 – Effectively balancing grad school and a social life so that nothing slips through the cracks may be impossible. Either the pile of books on my desk gets taller and more daunting, or the gap between me and the people in my life widens. Something will always have to come second.

4 – Despite the drama, the chaos, the madness that is life, things always work themselves out so no need to be disheartened. Just gotta roll with it.

3 am

It’s 3 am – what does one do? Part of me thinks sleeping is a good plan. Part of me thinks watching an episode of Buffy would be a better plan.

Maybe one more gin would have made it an easier choice.

Roxanne

My sister and her boyfriend played the most hilarious 2-person drinking game the other night while I was visiting. They put on The Police song “Roxanne,” then every time he heard the lyric “Roxanne” he had to drink, and every time she heard “put on the red light” she had to drink.

It was more entertaining to watch than I expected. Everyone out there should try it at least once. They looked like they were having such a good time!

But they weren’t feeling so great after…

And this is them about an hour later doing an interpretive dance…