Simplicity

When I think about my ideal future I always imagine myself living on a farm or on a small island. Something about simplicity is very attractive to me. I want to wake up with the sunrise and be met with no distractions other than simple daily living. I imagine making coffee, having a simple and healthy breakfast, doing errands around the house, reading and writing for most of the day, taking time out to do some gardening, cooking a nice dinner, enjoying a glass of wine, having no noise around me save for CBC radio or perhaps a little music, maybe knitting during the evening, or sitting on the porch drinking tea, maybe even with the company of whomever I’ve decided to live with out in the middle of nowhere. I want to be part of a small community, where we all work together to supply those things we need to live on and provide each other with company when wanted. Who knows if that kind of life even exists anymore but the one thing that really draws me to the possibility is the hope that a simple life would afford me more time. And not just more time with which to do things, but more time with which to not do anything. I suppose I have plenty of time now — but I feel like I waste a lot of it by just engaging with the world. I suppose if I wanted to sit through the evening with the CBC and knit I absolutely could. It would just mean not going out with my friends, avoiding the phone, avoiding the television, and maybe even dragging myself away from my computer!

I’m thinking sometime next year, while I’m working on my dissertation, I’ll take a few months away. Maybe rent a place on one of the gulf islands and just hang out away from the world for awhile. Read and write my days away and relax through the evenings. Although I’ve been specifically told not to do that. I guess people in my program go away in hopes of getting more done and end up just disappearing. But somehow I think it would work better for me. I work so well without distractions and I’m really self-motivated. But I’m too social a person to take the time out that I really need. Finding balance is definitely not a strength I have.

Anyway, when you break it right down, all I really long for is simplicity. I feel like life is far less chaotic and complicated lately than it was even just a couple of months ago, but it’s still not quiet enough. I feel like I still have something to unload — I just don’t know what.